When did you begin to think your Father had dementia?

Looking back, my mother’s death in September 2007 was when my family and I realised that something was not right with Dad. For a long time we thought Dad was grieving but it was much more than that. On a visit to the UK he missed the plane. In fairness he eventually got on another flight but landed at a different airport. We were very worried as he failed to arrive on time in the correct airport. He eventually arrived - 10 hours late. He also began the habit of falling asleep throughout the day which is not a common symptom for dementia.

Did you seek medical help straight away?
Yes. I live in the UK and consulted a local Doctor for advice and support. The Doctor believed Dad may have suffered transient ischemic attack (TIA). He also had an infection which caused him to become extremely muddled for a period (worse than usual) until his infection was treated.

How is your father and family members coping? It must be very hard for you and your siblings to see this change in your father.
Dad has really drifted away from his former self and it is quite hard to deal with at times. It was particularly tough for him when he had to stop driving. There is a real sense of not only losing a sense of your former self, but also your independence. I’m a nurse and did not want to accept Dad having dementia at the start, I was concerned he would be stigmatised. It has been a struggle but I am glad he is now being support in the community. It’s interesting as I have found friends to be a lot more understanding and supportive of the fact that Dad has dementia. Unfortunately, blood relatives have not been as understanding and can lose their patience with Dad at times. His neighbours and friends have been wonderful, and help him with areas he struggles with such as counting money to pay for a pint in his local pub.

What do you and your family members do to support your father during this difficult time?
We are helping Dad in different ways. We are quite lucky compared to other families in similar situations as we all communicate effectively with one another and all help Dad in different ways. My sister Jane manages Dad’s money but has not yet been made Power of Attorney. My brother Paddy is great for visiting Dad regularly, however he becomes quite impatient with Dad at times. The girls in the family seem to have more patience. Dad’s behaviour can be quite challenging at times and it has been hard on us as a family. My sister Kay is also great for visiting Dad but has been very sensitive to the fact that her children no longer have the Granddad they grew up with. Being the nurse in the family many of the care decisions are guided by me.

You are very fortunate to have so many siblings to help care for your Dad. Do you think it is important to have a support network?
Yes indeed. I don’t know what we would do without each other. Sometimes it becomes tough and one of us may become upset and need support, we also need each other to help to continue to support Dad. Even though Dad has all of us he is very lonely. Mentally he is in a place that no one understands but him so it is very difficult.

Tell me about the difference Home Instead Senior Care has made in your Dad’s life as well as your own life.
I have huge peace of mind knowing that there is a nurse, a Home Instead CAREGiver and office staff as well as the Managing Director there to support my father, siblings and I during this tough time. I live so far away and it is very comforting knowing there is someone there with Dad. Dad would not feel secure in his own home if it were not for Home Instead Senior Care and for this I am very grateful. Dad’s CAREGiver visits him seven days a week and really lifts his spirits. It is great company and support for him and comforting for me to know a professional, competent and caring CAREGiver is there for him. There have also been times where we have needed care at short notice and Home Instead Senior Care has always been able to help us out which has been wonderful. It’s far from perfect  having Dad live on his own with dementia, but it is made easier thanks to Home Instead Senior Care.